Are you real?
Are your words worth believing?
I was doing poorly at trying to flush you out of my system that I am aware
But something is happening
And just when I’ve almost convinced myself you can be forgotten about
You make that call…don’t give up on us just yet you said
You got me slipping back to the point I was desperately trying to get past

I’m talking to myself
I’m telling me to be more trusting
It’s the high road for me
And it’s worth taking

But when silence like this suddenly happens
It makes me wonder

Are you really real?

perhaps 'twas really love...or stupidity

if people will be the judge,
they'd say you betrayed me.
but it is i who has a say in the matter
and you are guiltless in my eyes.

if love means embracing the person
wholly, all flaws and imperfections
without wanting to change him
then maybe i really loved you.
maybe i did even to a point of stupidity.

why does loving have to push someone
to that point? or was i loving wrongly?

just keeping my promise

i've said "thank you" for so many times before and you've asked " for what?" everytime.
i promised to articulate all reasons one day and i suppose at this point this is the best i can do. i wish i could say them to you face to face but in my judgement it's unwise given the present circumstances.

thank you for coming to my life. i didn't plan for it to happen not even psyched for someone like you to come along. you basically ruined my steady plan in life.you got me sidetracked.i don't regret it however. you were a welcome interruption in my otherwise organized existence. for the first time i was able to admit to myself that it is a good idea to belong to someone.

thank you for the brief moment you made me feel loved. i was genuinely happy for awhile. i loved the times when i was smiling at the thought of you, when i was laughing uncontrollably at your jokes, when i was pensive because of your opinions, when i was humbled by the fact that i always lose an argument, when i felt dumb because you were smarter than i have imagined you to be.

thank you for those times when you were giving me a push when everyone else was just not sensitive enough to figure i needed one, for the times when you were telling me i can do so much more, for the times when you were making sure i was doing the right thing, for the times when you were concerned about my happiness and safety, for the times when you made me appreciate myself more than i used to.

thank you for showing you cared so much, for waking me up and being the first person to greet my mornings and first to bid my good nights, for making sure i've fed myself, if i had a great time during my excursions.

thank you for breaking my heart too. i've grown so much because of that. everyone expects me to be mad at you, resent you and be bitter about what happened. i guess because they are a natural reaction. but i am not one bit angry.i was hurt and disappointed but i'm done with those feelings now. you remain a person i will always respect and remember no matter what.you were an exquisite experience and a beautiful lesson learned.

i am forever thankful for that.

this is my promise.